PSYC 1520
by Oxymoronic Alliteration
Summary: Dr. Bruce's Human Sexual Behavior class is a hot choice among students at UNO. After all, in a class like that, anything can happen. Blush fic!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own _Newsies_. Dammit.

AN: This is inspired by my Human Sexual Behavior Class at UNO. If you attend UNO or are going to attend UNO, I definitely suggest taking this class (and not only because it's about sex!).

* * *

"Hey, Brent! Check this out!" My best friend/roommate, Tony, exclaimed as he elbowed me in the side. The two of us were sitting in a _huge_ auditorium along with almost two hundred others students. It was the classroom for Dr. Bruce's Human Sexual Behavior course, a favorite among most students at the University of New Orleans. Wonder why...

"Ow! That fucking hurt, asshole!" I muttered, peering over to see what he was pointing to in our book. "Holy shit! What is that thing?"

"It's a Victorian era device used to keep little boys from having erections in their sleep. See, it goes around his waist, and there are the sharp metal points at the front end so..."

"Blah! I don't want to hear! That's torture!"

"Ooo! And this one has metal pockets to prevent masturbation!"

"La la la, I'm not listening!" I said with my fingers in my ears.

"You look like an idiot, you know."

"I would call you an asshole, but as I said before I'm not listening." Someone cleared his throat behind me.

"Uh, hey." There stood what I was sure had to be God's gift to me (if God gives gifts to gay men). He was about my height with darkly tanned skin and curly dark hair. Oh, and his eyes! Two of the most perfectly shaped, chocolate brown eyes I'd ever seen in my life! "Is anyone sitting here?" he asked gesturing to the seat right next to mine.

I looked into his eyes.

He looked into my eyes.

Then I realized he was expecting some form of an answer. "Oh...uh...yeah...I mean no! No one is sitting there." He smiled! Gah, a beautiful smile!

"Something wrong with your ears?"

"No. Why do you ask?"

"...Because you have your fingers in them..."

"Heh. Oh yeah," I replied sheepishly. Smooth. _Real_ smooth. Tony snickered behind me.

"I'm Chad, by the way." He offered his hand which I tenderly shook.

"Uh, Brent."

"Freshman?"

"Uh-huh."

"Me too."

"Uh-huh."

"Hey, Brent! Did you know Graham Crackers were actually invented to decrease masturbation in boys?"

"Would you shut up?" hissed a girl in front of us who then promptly returned to her novel muttering something about immaturity.

"Well aren't we the cheery one?" Tony replied with a snort. She whipped around again with a retort, but was interrupted by a shrill whistle from the front of the auditorium.

"Hello!" a small man stood in front of us. "This is Human Sexual Behavior, and I am Dr. Bruce. In case you haven't noticed, this is a very, _very_ large class. There are at least two hundred and fifty students enrolled. Therefore, I will need you all to be quiet when I am speaking. Even whispering, when done among such a large group, can escalate to shouting."

"Hey, uh...Brent?" I heard a soft whisper in my ear. I turned and was once again met with those eyes. Major swoon.

I cleared my throat, my heart quickening. "Yes?"

"The bookstore was out of the books for this class. Think I could share with you?" With a smile like that he could have whatever he wanted. "Just for now," he assured me.

"Oh, sure." I tried to hide my enthusiasm. It became even harder to do so once I realized that, due to the set up of the desks on the seats, he would have to lean across me slightly in order to see the book. Score!

* * *

"I know the bookstore is apparently out of the book for this class and I've been told they won't get more in until at least Monday," Dr. Bruce informed us at the end of class. I silently thanked God, Vishnu, Zeus, and whoever else may be responsible for my sudden fortitude. "So until then, just try to make-do and share with someone around you. For those of you who _do_ have books, try and read the first chapter before we meet on Wednesday."

And with that, our first class had ended. This meant Mr. Beautiful was leaving. My heart deflated ever so slightly.

Chad stood and grabbed his school bag. "So I guess I'll be seeing you, huh?" he asked flashing me a smile.

"Uh, yeah. Be seeing you. Later." I stood and watched as he walked through the throng of students out the door. I may or may not have been salivating.

"'Lo? Think you could stand aside and let those of us who aren't ogling other students to leave out?" Tony yanked me out of my trance with a small shove.

"Shut up," I groaned.

"Seriously, do you think you could've been any more obvious?" He shook is head in amusement. "I especially loved how your hand 'accidentally' landed on his thigh. 'Oh, how stupid of me! I thought that was _my_ leg!'" he mocked in a falsetto voice.

"I _so_ do not sound like that, ass."

"You lucked out though. That one's so freaking oblivious, I don't think he'd notice you had a crush on him even if you bluntly groped him!"

"You think?" I asked hopefully.

"Think what? That you could get away with groping him? I mean, I wasn't suggesting it or anything."

"No! Do you think he noticed that I was..." What was the best word to describe it?

"Infatuated with him?" Tony finished with a smirk. "No, I'm pretty sure your secret is safe."

I sighed in relief.

"You know," he began as the two of us exited the Administration Building, "I think this is going to be one hell of a class."

* * *

I really don't expect this fic to be _too_ long. Maybe five chapters. Reviews rock my world! 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: In case you haven't figured it out by now, I do not own _Newsies_. Disney does.

* * *

"Now, how many of you--and _don't_ raise your hands--how many of you are under the impression that women truly care about the size of a man's penis?" Dr. Bruce inquired. A small awkward laugh murmured around the room. We were now in our fifth week of classes. Within those five weeks, four days had been spent being book buddies with you-know-who. Luckily, even after he was able to buy his own book, he continued sitting next to me (which proved to be slightly uncomfortable when we covered the anatomy of the male genitalia). Now we were coming upon our first test.

Once the giggling had subsided, our teacher picked up a tablet from a nearby table. "Well, I have conducted surveys among my students for the past four years. In that time, only one woman has ever shown a preference in penis size. Here are some of the comments made by other women:

'Penis size– of course it doesn't matter!'

'And about penis size, we don't care!'

'Also, penis size doesn't mean anything, especially to women.'

'It's not what you have that's so important, but how you use it.'

'It is not the size of the boat that matters, but the motion of the ocean.'"

A huge bout of laughter erupted waking Tony who had been snoring next to me. "Huh?" He looked around in confusion. "What'd I miss?"

The same girl from our first day of class turned around. "Maybe you should start paying attention."

"Bite me." This exchange had become routine. She would scold him for one thing or another and he'd mutter something derogatory. Personally, I think both of them enjoyed it more than they let on.

Dr. Bruce continued. "There's a small section on 'aphrodisiacs' and 'anaphrodisiacs' but I don't have time to go over them with you. That doesn't mean they won't appear on the test; it means you will have to read them on your own." Most students around me began packing, but stopped when he interjected, "Hey! We're not done quite yet! Remember that this Wednesday is your first test. That means you need a _green _scantron. Not blue. Green. You will also need a photo ID and a number two pencil. I suggest you prepare for the test by studying the study guide in the back of each chapter. Anyone who has taken this class before can tell you that the test mostly comes from the study guide. Also remember that to be a 'Superstar in Sex' you need to take and get an 'A' on all the tests. Good bye and I'll see you on Wednesday."

The "Superstars of Sex" were students who got an 'A' on all the tests and didn't miss more than four days of class. What did being a "Superstar of Sex" mean? Well, for starters you were exempt from the final exam. In addition, your name would appear on a list right outside the doors. Besides, who doesn't want to be able to say they're a superstar of sex? I'm sure it made for a great pick-up line.

After exiting the class, I quickly made my way to the vending machine, fishing some loose change from my pocket, for a much needed bag of pretzels. I fed the money to the machine, pressed the corresponding buttons and...

"Fuck!" I cried banging the machine. The bag had gotten stuck. "No no no no no no no no," I chanted as I tried to will the bag to fall.

"Problem?" There was Chad. See how connected we are? He sensed I was frustrated about something and came to the rescue. It must have been ESP. That or the fact that I was shouting incoherently at an inanimate object. "Here," he offered with a grin, "let me try." He studied the evil machine for a moment before smacking it on the side with a fist. The bag fell down.

"My hero," I joked as I reached in to retrieve the pretzels. "Thanks."

"No problem. I've learned how to deal with vending machines." He turned to leave. "See you on Wednesday!" he called over his shoulder with a wave.

I mutely waved back with what I'm sure was an idiotic smile. God he was hot! I snapped out of my trance to see Tony brushing past me. "Hey, think we could stop at The Cove before going back to the dorm?"

"You go on without me," he said. "I have some things I have to do."

"Like what?"

"Talk to someone about something."

"Could you be any more vague?"

"I could try..."

"Fine, I'll see you later then," I responded as I began heading in the opposite direction.

* * *

Bienville Hall is one of the most revolting places I've ever seen. When I first saw the rooms while touring the campus, I seriously began to rethink the whole dormitory idea. However, once I remembered the three brothers and two sisters I had at home, I decided to stick it out. Once we had refurbished the room, it was much nicer. I still refuse to walk barefoot in the bathroom, though.

It was Tuesday, the day before the first test. It was drizzling lightly outside and, judging from the dark clouds, more rain was on the way. I was lying on my stomach on my bed trying to absorb as much information as I possibly could. Tony had just gotten out of the shower and was busy getting dressed and groomed.

"Going somewhere?" I asked as he stood in front of a full length mirror, which hung on the back of the bathroom door, running a comb through his hair.

"I have a date."

"You're not going to study for tomorrow's test?"

"It's a _study_ date."

"With whom?"

"Jade."

I looked up at him. "Jade? You're going out with Jade?" I furrowed my brow slightly. "Wait a minute. Who the hell is Jade?"

"The loud mouth who sits in front of us."

My eye widened incredulously. "Wow. She actually agreed to this?"

"Well why wouldn't she?" he retorted.

"Gee, I don't know. Maybe the fact that you're at each other's throats on a daily basis."

"Oh, that's just her way of covering up how much she wants me."

"Oh please don't make me puke. What'd you bribe her with?"

He rolled his eyes and let out a sigh of exasperation. "Well if you must know, I told her that I had a friend who took this class before and he gave me his old tests."

"Dr. Bruce doesn't hand the tests back to students," I pointed out.

"Well _you_ know that and _I_ know that."

"So when you show up without any tests, you will...what?"

"I'll improvise."

"Mind if I come along?" I asked. "I'd love to see you get bitch-smacked."

He ignored me. "What time is it?"

"6:55."

"Oops! Gotta run!" And with that he grabbed his raincoat and rushed out the door.

I probably shouldn't have been surprised with what happened next.

About five minutes later, there was a knock at the door. Assuming it was Tony (though why he would knock at his own dorm room is beyond me), I snickered as I opened the door. "Did she reject you that quickly?" Upon realizing my mistake, I let out what can only be described as a "meep." Chad, who happened to be the standing in my doorway chuckled slightly. My cheeks reddened. "Chad...I thought you were Tony."

"I figured as much," he nodded. "So you want to get started?"

My eye widened. "Uh..."

"Start studying? For the test?"

"Right...that test for the class that we're in. We can study together because I invited you to come study with me..."

The corners of his mouth twitched upward. "You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

I returned the smile and shook my head. "Not a clue."

"I figured as much. I mean, it didn't make sense for Tony to tell me you wanted to study with me when you could have."

Tony! I should have known he was up to something! Memo to self: Kill roommate. Granted, then you may end up with someone worse... Ok, scratch that: Find replacement, _then_ kill roommate. Hm...Maybe Mr. Beautiful is in need of a roommate.

Realizing Chad was still standing there in a wet raincoat I stepped back and opened the door completely. "As long as you're here, I don't mind having someone to study with. Tony went off to study with someone else." I can't imagine why he'd want to be far away from me right now...

"You don't mind?" he asked uncertainly.

Mind? Are you crazy? "Not at all." I forced my "enthusiasm" down.

He entered and shed his coat. Underneath, he was wearing a white wife-beater, and for the first time I was able to see just how built he was. Let me tell you, the boy had muscles. Not bulging muscles, like those guys who enter those competitions. You know, the ones who look like they can't even put their arms down the muscles are so massive? Those guys freak me out. As a fairly petite guy, I'm afraid if I went out with a guy like that, he'd hug me and kill me accidentally not realizing his own strength à la Lennie in "Of Mice and Men." Chad's muscles, however, were perfection. I couldn't help but stare a little.

"Nice pajamas."

"Huh?" I looked down and saw I was wearing my pajamas. I was wearing my _SpongeBob_ pajamas. They're completely yellow with his face appearing over and over in different expressions. "Uh...yeah. Thanks. So, did you drive all the way out here?" I asked, desperate to change the subject.

"No, I live in Privateer Place."

"Seriously? You're fucking lucky. That place is so much nicer than this place." Not that I'd actually toured it, I had just heard it was better. Pretty hard not to be anyway. "Who are your roommates?"

"Well there's Josh who is studying computer science. The good thing is if your laptop is being a pain, he can fix it. Then there is Ian who is majoring in music."

"What instrument?"

"Well, he plays a lot of things, but mainly drums right now. Unfortunately, he's supposed to practice an hour a day and sometimes he's got nowhere else to go. Last is David. He's here for English. I guess he's a bit of a 'mother' type. He's always bitching about the place being a mess. A real neat freak, you know?"

"Yeah. Tony and I are both slobs," I explained gesturing to the messy dorm room. A thought dawned on me. "I just realized I have no idea what your major is."

"General Studies. For now," he added. "I'm just not sure what I want to do."

"Sounds like Tony. I'm here for English. I want to be a writer."

"Really?" He looked at me with awe. "I don't know if I could ever voluntarily write something. I'm too ADD for that. What things have you written?"

"Well, mostly short stories right now. I haven't been really inspired enough for a novel. Yet."

"Could I read some of your stuff?"

"Well, maybe sometime." I was sure my entire face was red. "So, uh, I was on chapter two. Do you want to go back to the beginning and work from there?"

"Hey, do you mind if I ask you a question?" Chad had taken a seat in the one and only chair. He was sitting sideways, resting his chin on the back and staring intently at me.

I grinned slightly. "Is it about my eye?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Yeah. I mean If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. I've just been wondering about it."

"Nah, it's fine. My left eye is just really sensitive to light. It's nothing major."

"So you actually have another eye under there?"

"Of course I do." As if to prove my point, I lifted the patch slightly to revel my eye which was a much lighter blue than the other one.

"Cool. You must have that 'sexy pirate' thing working in your favor then. I'm sure the girls swoon over you a lot, huh? Or do you already have a girlfriend?"

My heart deflated a bit. At first I had been relieved that he was so oblivious. Now, though, it made me wonder if I was barking up the wrong tree. I mean, it wouldn't be the first time I'd fallen for a straight guy. "No," I answered, "I don't have a girlfriend. You?"

He shook his head. "No." And he left it at that. Well, at least that's a bit of a good sign. Wasn't it?

* * *

9:00 rolled around, Tony was still gone, and we had gone through all four chapters at least three times each. I almost thought I never wanted to see another penis as long as I lived, but I'm sure that was just the sleepiness talking.

"I feel prepared," Chad said as we decided to wrap it up. He began gathering his things. I was feeling daring.

"How about I walk with you back to Privateer Place? I mean it's dark out and I wouldn't want you to get mugged."

"Are you serious? It's not exactly nearby. And besides, who will walk back here with you?"

"I'm meeting Tony at the Fine Arts Building anyway." Lie.

He looked unsure. Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes...

"Ok, if you want to." Score! "But you don't have to do this."

"I know," I said as I slipped a pair of jeans over my pajama bottoms and grabbed an umbrella, "I want to."

The rain was still going strong as we exited Bienville Hall and made our way to Privateer Place. The winds seemed to have pick up as well. "Do you want to borrow my coat?" Chad asked when he noticed my umbrella was doing little to actually shield me from the rain.

"Nah," I replied through slightly chattering teeth, "I'll be fine." With that a large gust of wind blew my umbrella completely inside out. I didn't know that was even possible. I thought it was just something done in cartoons for humorous effects. I wrestled with the piece of shit trying to straighten it out. Memo to self: Never buy an umbrella from The Cove ever again.

Chad, who had begun to laugh, shed his coat and draped it over my shoulders. How romantic. Major swoon! "Since you're walking me back to my place, I think it's the least I can do. And when we get there, I'll treat you to a mug of hot chocolate."

I was going to protest and insist he take it back, but I realized it smelled like him so I instead reveled in it. Oh come on! You know you'd have done the same!

Now, as anyone who has witnessed a wet T-shirt contest knows, "water" plus "white T-shirt" usually equals something along the lines of "see-through." Needless to say, by the time we'd reached Privateer Place, Chad's wife beater was soaked thoroughly and my "enthusiasm" had slowly begun to rise and rise.

When we reached the door he pulled out a key, placed it in the lock , then hesitated. "I should warn you about my roommates. They can be a bit...well...you'll see." He bit his lip and pushed open the door.

Wow! This place was a fucking palace compared to my dorm. There was an actual kitchen area, a small dining area, _clean_ bathrooms, and–best of all–everyone got their own room! Un-fucking-believable! I was about to comment when I heard a somewhat shrill voice from one of the bedrooms.

"Chad! Where have you been? It was your turn to do the dishes!" An angry looking guy with curly brown hair and brilliantly blue eyes entered. He barely gave me a glance as he continued. "I keep getting stuck doing it." His shrill voice had now become almost a whine.

"That's because you're the only one who actually cares about it."

The whiner softened his glare and I saw a hint of a smile. "I know, but it still isn't fair!"

"I'll tell you what's not fair," came a second voice from another bedroom. "English 1158! That teacher fucking hates my guts!" A boy with very light blond hair entered. He too had blue eyes, only his peered out from behind a pair of glasses. When he saw Chad he let out a squeal of delight. "MUSHEEE! You're back!"

I raised an eyebrow. "'Mushee?'"

For the first time I can recall I saw Chad–or was it "Mushee?"–blush. It was hard to tell with his dark skin, but I saw a definite pink hue. "That's Ian's nickname for me."

"Why?"

"Because when we were watching 'Casablanca' he started to cry. Then, when we watched 'Gone With the Wind' he cried again. Then, this one time, we were watching–."

"I think he gets the idea," boy number one interjected. "Anyway, we found out that Chad's a really...sensitive guy."

"He likes all that mushy type romance stuff," Ian summed up, "so I decided to call him Mush, or, when I'm hyper–."

"Which is always," boy number one cut in.

Ian stuck his tongue out at him. "When I'm hyper it becomes 'Mushee.'" Finally getting a good look at both Chad and me, Ian raised his eyebrows. "So why are you wearing a sopping wet shirt while he wears your jacket."

Chad dodged the question with introductions. "This, as you may have figured out, is Ian. That," he said pointing at the whiner, "is David. Don't mind his voice. You'll get used to it after a while."

David glared at him. "I am so underappreciated! I mean, what would this place be like if it weren't for me?"

"Quiet," Ian retorted.

"Quiet? With you?"

"Hey! It's not my fault I have to practice. You, however, don't have to be so anal."

"Who's getting anal without me?" Another boy entered, apparently just out of the shower. He had dark black hair which was currently in an unruly mass of curls. As he entered, he was cleaning a pair of glasses and squinting slightly. Once the glasses were in place, he noticed me. "Oh, hey!"

"Brent, that's Josh. Everyone, this is Brent." A chorus of "Hi"s and "How do you do"s echoed in the small apartment. Chad, who was looking particularly uncomfortable all of a sudden, grabbed my arm. "Hot chocolate is in here," he explained dragging me to the kitchen.

"Hot chocolate! I want!" Ian cried following us with Josh in tow.

"Don't make a mess!" David ordered also coming, most likely to supervise.

As Chad began getting out the mugs and boiling water, his roommates were asking me questions.

"So how do you know each other?" David inquired.

"We met in our Human Sexual Behavior Class."

I heard a snicker from Ian. "Heh. Great class. Wonderful memories, huh?" I guessed the last bit was directed to Josh who simply grinned and nodded.

David continued with his questions. "So where are you living?"

"Bienville Hall."

"That crack house? Oh you poor thing!" Ian said.

"Yeah, it's not as nice as this place, but it's the best I can do for now."

"Why don't you come stay here?"

"Ian, it's a four bedroom apartment. There are already four of us here."

"Well, David, I guess that means you'll need to be going."

"Or Ian and I could share a room," Josh suggested. What was the tugging suspicion I felt?

David ignored them and continued. "What is your major?"

Chad interrupted from behind me. "Geez, what's with all the questions, David?"

"Nobody expects The Spanish Inquisition!" Ian shouted. We stared blankly at him. "Oh c'mon! None of you have ever watched Monty Python?"

"No, we have," Josh began, "but for that joke to work, someone must first say something along the lines of 'I didn't expect The Spanish Inquisition.' See, that's the set-up of the joke and what you said is the punch line. You can't start with the punch line. You need the set-up first."

"But how often does anyone actually say 'I didn't expect The Spanish Inquisition?'"

"Guys," Chad groaned, "I think you're starting to scare Brent."

By this time, though, Josh had sat down in a nearby chair and Ian had perched himself in Josh's lap. I knew it! I knew they were gay! I have gaydar, baby! Well, that and they were holding hands and cuddling. It was kind of sweet, actually. Enviously sweet.

They must have noticed me staring, because Ian let out a dramatic sigh. "Chad did you forget to warn your guest?" He shook is head in dismay. "We can hold off if it makes you uncomfortable or anything."

"Oh no! Not at all! I'm..." A though occurred to me. Chad hadn't told me two of his roommates were gay. Not that it really serves well as small talk, but you'd think he may let me know. Plus, he had seemed embarrassed about me meeting his friends. Was he _ashamed _of them? Did he have a problem with homosexuality? The last thing I wanted was to lose him as a friend. "I have a lot of good friends who are gay," I finished.

At least for now, it would be my little secret from him.

* * *

"So first my biggest problem was whether or not he shared my feelings. Now my biggest problem is if he's even gay!" I was pacing back and froth in front of Tony's bed. Once he had returned to the dorm I severely berated him for setting me up. However, I couldn't stay mad at him for very long. I needed someone to vent to at this point.

"Can't you tell? I mean you're always bragging about 'gaydar' and stuff."

I sat down on my bed with a small pout. "The problem is I can't tell if I'm confusing my gut instincts with wishful thinking. I mean just looking at him I want him to be gay so badly, I probably force myself to think he's gay."

"So ask him."

I rolled my eyes. How could one man be so stupid? "I can't ask him. If he isn't gay he'll be offended."

"Why would he be offended?"

"Because..."I trailed off in thought.

"Were you offended when he assumed you were straight?"

"Well, no..."

"So why should it be any different for him? I'm not offended when guys think I'm gay."

"Guys only think your gay because you go to those bars with me."

"Point being?"

"He may think he acts gay and seems gay. That might offended him..."

Tony looked up at me. "How the hell does one "act" or "seem" gay? There isn't just one way to be gay. Geez, stereotype much?"

"Oh shut up!" I whined. "Help me figure out what to do1"

"Whining is _so_ unattractive."

I groaned. "You are useless!"

"And you're an idiot. And it's 11:00 at nightand I have to be up for 8:00 tomorrow morning. Good night," he concluded as he switched off the lamp which sat between our beds.

I tossed and turned until 1:00 in anticipation of what was yet to come.

* * *

WTF? Another chapter within a week? I really, really like this story. Plus I have no job, no life, and I'm an insomniac. Now, to clear up for anyone who is confused:

Brent-Blink

Chad-Mush

Tony-Racetrack

Ian-Dutchy

Josh-Specs

David-David

One more thing-

Shout-outs:

**Dreamless-Mermaid**: Sorry about it being confusing in the beginning. I've just gotten a little sick of nicknames. Thanks for reviewing! I hope you continue to like the story!

**studentnumber24601**: I'm not really too picky when it comes to slash (I'll read almost anything), but I do agree that there seems to be a shortage of Blush ficcage. Yeah, it is a fun class, especially when taking it with perverted friends. Hope you continue to read and enjoy!

**Pancakes**: Woo! I'm glad you like it. Mucho thankies for reviewing!

**antiIRONY**: Awesomeness! I have an apostle...sorta! Thank you so much for reviewing! I hope you liked the last chapter as much as the first1

**singin'-newsies-goil**:gasp: You like me! You really like me! But don't throw your pen away:saves pen: Continue to write! Hope this update was soon enough for you! I appreciate your review and hope I don't disappoint you!

**Uke-Twitch**: You should definitely take it with people you know. It can be overwhelming when you don't. Tell me when you take it and I'll try to sit in on a class or two! Love you for reviewing:huggles:

And that is that! I'll try to have the next chapter up soon!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Eh, you know the drill. I don't own _Newsies_. Disney does. Insert witty remark here.

* * *

Funny the way life works. During the first few weeks of class, seeing Chad became the highlight of my day. When he sat near me, my heart came close to leaping from my chest and when he spoke to me, my stomach did somersaults. In the four weeks following our private study session, however, my feelings had done a complete 180. Sure, I was still attracted to him, but I had begun to doubt anything would develop between the two of us. I dreaded having to see him in class and having him sit next to me because I just knew he'd begin putting all the clues together–my almost constant stammering in his presence, the way my hands would "accidentally" brush against his, the way I would sweat and redden with him so near–and that would be the end of our relationship (if you could even call it a relationship). I took extra care not to let any of my body parts brush against any of his, and I apologized quickly if any of them ever did. I also tried to talk to him as little as possible without seeming rude and kept my head slightly lowered.

I'm pretty sure he thought something was up, but he didn't say anything about it.

About three weeks after our first test, the time came to cover the chapter on child birth. This, of course, meant watching one of those "The Miracle of Life" videos. The really, really graphic ones. While my classmates squealed in disgust of seeing a vaginal delivery (shot from the front, mind you), I slowly moved to scratch my thigh. Guess whose thigh got in the way.

"Oh sorry," I whispered hurriedly as my hand sprung back, "I thought that was my leg. Honestly, I did."

"It's ok," he replied not taking his eyes off the screen.

_God! What is wrong with me?_ I asked myself. Shifting in my seat, my elbow brushed against his arm. Again, I winced inwardly hoping he hadn't noticed. Next to me, Tony was snickering softly at the entire ordeal. "Glad to know you get such pleasure from my pain," I muttered to him as quietly as I could."

"Well you have to admit it's humourous."

"What is?" I demanded in a hushed voice. "That fact that I can't even move without worrying he may think I'm molesting him?"

"No," he said smirking, "the fact that you're worrying over something so idiotic. If he didn't notice you're constant groping before, what makes you think he will now?"

I chose not to respond and instead turned my attention to the video, only to instantly turn away again. Vagina. Ew.

* * *

"Well, that was thoroughly disgusting," Tony proclaimed to me after class. Jade, who was pushing past him rolled her eyes.

"It's the miracle of life! That's how you entered this world."

He grabbed her arm and stopped her. "We're still study partners for the next test, right?"He asked with a grin. The second test was scheduled for the following Friday, the day before we got out for spring break.

She slung her bookbag harshly over her shoulder knocking Tony slightly off balance. "Dream on, jackass," she muttered shoving through the crowd quickly.

"Yeah, she wants me," he affirmed. Pushing students in front of us to the side, he followed after her shouting for her to wait up.

"No offense, but he's weird." Chad had appeared next to me. I pushed down the blush that was slowing creeping over my face. "I mean, can't he take a hint?" He flashed me a grin. A sexy grin. I felt a "major swoon" moment coming on, but looked away and repressed it.

"Nah, he can. He just enjoys annoying people. It's his soul purpose in life."

"Oh." An uncomfortable silence settled between us and I assumed we would soon part ways. "Uh, so you excited about spring break?" Guess not.

Keeping my eye glued to my feet I replied, "Sure. You?"

"Yeah. Are you going somewhere?"

"Nope."

"Yeah, me neither. People seem to forget it's called spring _break_. I mean, it's like you're supposed to just rest, not run around partying and stuff," he pointed out with a small laugh.

"Mm-hm." Yet another lapse of silence. Awk-ward...

"Well," he began finally, "I wanted to talk to you about the next test. I was hoping we could study together again."

Another date with Mr. Goodbody? Ok, so technically it's a _study_ date, but the word "date" is still in there. Only an ignoramus would refuse that.

"I don't know..."

Hello. My name is Brent and I am an ignoramus.

"The thing is," I tried to explain, "I kind of have this big project for another class and I have a partner I'm doing it with...I mean, I don't know when I'll have any free time and I don't want you to do badly on account of me."

"I can work around your project. I can get together whenever you're free."

I wrung my hands nervously. "No, I think it's better that we not do that. Maybe next time." I finally looked up at him. His eyes were so sullen, I almost gave in.

He bit his lip in thought. "Well, what if–"

I cut him off before I changed my mind. "I have to meet someone right now. See you on Friday?"

He opened his mouth to protest, but closed it and sighed disdainfully. "Yeah. Friday."

I swiftly took off to the University Center and I didn't look back.

* * *

As I entered the UC, I could feel my body temperature lowering substantially. I'm not sure if that was due to the Arctic-level air conditioning or because Chad was no longer around me. Whatever the reason, I appreciatively wiped the last bit of sweat from my forehead as I scanned the cafeteria. I spotted Tony and Jade sharing a table near the Subway. Actually, from the looks Jade was giving him, I assumed Tony was merely intruding.

"Hey," I greeted as I slid into an empty chair.

"Hey, Brent," Tony acknowledge as he batted one of Jade's pigtails playfully. Her arm snapped up and slapped his hand away.

"Quit that!" she hissed. With her nostrils flaring, she continued scribbling furiously in a notebook. At that point Tony chose to focus his attention on me

"So what happened to you and Mr. Wonderful?"

I groaned folding my arms on the table. "Don't ask."

"That bad?"

I rested my chin atop my arms and stared at the table's patterns. "He asked me to study with him again."

There was a pause. "Wow, don't you hate it when your crush wants to spend more time with you?"

Raising my eye to meet his, I scowled slightly. "I declined."

I studied me the way one studies a paradox. "Brent, I don't think playing 'hard to get' really works for you."

"Oh shut up already."

Jade raised her hand in agreement. "I second that!"

Tony scooted closer to her. "Now for _you_ it works."

"Too bad I'm not playing," she muttered rolling her eyes.

"You know I've heard that if you roll your eyes too many times they fall out of your head," he retorted

She started to roll her eyes again, but stopped mid-roll. Without a comeback, she simply dove back into her work. "Could you please just shut up so I can concentrate?"

"Aw, I'm just trying to helping you study."

I sat back and observed their bickering, momentarily forgetting about my own problems. "You two are a strange couple."

Jade's muffled screech was a clear indication that it wasn't the best thing to say. "We are not a couple," she murmured letting her head fall onto her folded arms. Tony patted the top of her head.

"It's ok. You don't have to admit it just yet," he replied.

"Well, you're closer to being a couple than Chad and I are," I mused bitterly.

Jade's hazel eyes peeked out at me and her brow furrowed. "Chad? Are you talking about Chad Meyers?"

My heart began beating more quickly. "You know him?"

"Sort of. My friend's friend is–"

"The brother of the cousin," Tony interjected, "of the roommate of the third aunt of–Ow!" He rubbed his shin where Jade had kicked him.

"As I was saying," she continued more or less unfazed, "one of my friends is friends with someone who knows him. I ran into him at a party once at the beginning of the semester."

By this point my heart was racing. She'd been right under my nose the entire time, yet she quite possibly held the key to my future. Could I be one step closer to finding out which side he plays for?

"So you're a party girl, eh?" Tony wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at her.

"Tony, could you stop harassing her for one fucking second?" I snapped. What good was she if my so-called friend scared her off? "Jade, I know we don't know each other really and there's no reason why you should do me any favors, but..." I took a deep breath and closed my eye, "doyoupossiblythinkyoucouldtellmeifhe'sgayornotifyoucouldthatwouldbeawesomeandI'dloveyouforever."

She blinked as her brain attempted to decipher what I had just said. I was having a little trouble doing so myself.. "Uh, could you repeat that?"

"Doyoupossiblythinkyoucould..."

She raised her hand to stop me. "A bit slower, please."

Another breath. "Do you possibly think you could tell me if he's gay or not? If you could that would be awesome and I'd love you forever." Phew. That wasn't so hard, was it?

"Well, I'd love to help you out," she said. Score! "But I really don't know myself." Swing and a miss! "When we were at the party, he didn't dance with anyone of either sex and I don't know that he was actually there with anyone. In fact, he looked downright uncomfortable being there at all. I think he was dragged there by a friend."

Seeing the disappoint in my expression she pointed out, "Well, he doesn't seem to mind you practically groping him all the time..."

"That was an accident!" I protested. "Ok, the first few weeks it wasn't...but after that it was all accidental!"

She held her hands up in defense. "Ok, ok! Jeez." She smacked away Tony's hand which had once again found its way to her pigtail. "If you're interested in knowing, why don't you just ask him?"

I shook my head in disarray. Oh the naivete! "I can't ask a guy if he's gay or not."

"Why?" she inquired, eyebrow raised.

"Because if he's straight he'll be insulted. Straight guys don't want people to wonder whether or not they're gay."

"That makes no sense. If he'd not gay anyway, why does it matter? Would it insult you for people to think you're straight?"

"That's what I said!" Tony proclaimed. "You know what that means? It means we've actually agreed with each other for once!"

"Oh. Wow. I'll check for the coming of the Apocalypse," she replied monotonously.

"Hey, I know you two want some flirting time, but can we focus on my situation for a second please?"

She stared at me coldly. "A: We are not flirting. B: If you keep that attitude I won't help you at all. You seem to forget, I know some of his friends. Maybe not well, but better than you do."

I cringed slightly. She did have a point. "Ok, I'm sorry. I'm just desperate right now. Any help would be appreciated." I clasped my hand together pleadingly and gave her my best puppy dog face.

She tapped her pen against the table and chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully. "There _is_ someone who might know. I've only met him a couple of times, but he seems nice enough."

I took her hand gently in both of mine and kneeled before her. "If you do this for me, I will be forever in your debt."

"I said I'd do it, didn't I?"

I let my forehead fall against the hand I still held. "Oh, I knew girls had to be good for something."

"Well, I think they're great for all kinds of things," I heard Tony reply smugly.

She leaned down to me "You say you're forever in my debt?" I nodded. "Will you get him away from me for a while?" She asked pleadingly with a nod in Tony's direction.

"Anything," I proclaimed. I hurriedly grabbed Tony's arm and yanked him from his seat. After making it three feet from the table, I turned back to Jade. "One more thing: Please do not use my name. You know, just in case."

She shrugged. "Whatever you want. But I'm not making any promises about anything!"

I jubilantly dragged Tony out of the cafeteria and in the direction of Bienville Hall. "You can let go of me," he insisted. "I'm not a child."

"Not a chance," I refused.

Just when all hope had seemed lost for me, when I thought I'd spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been between Chad and I, God had beamed upon me. He hadn't smiled or grinned; he had _beamed_! He really did love me!

My mind continued to race, even after reaching the dormitory. Was this a sign? Did this mean Chad was truly my soul mate? Did this mean we'd eventually get married (which of course would be legal everywhere by then, because apparently God loves me) and begin a family? I asked Tony what he thought.

"Don't you think you should plan the wedding after you find out if he's gay?" Damn him and his logic. "Peaking of which, what are you going to do if it turns out he's straight?"

I sighed. I didn't want to think about that possibility. After all, God wouldn't tease me this way. Would he? "It's best that I know, even if he's not gay. At least then I can start getting over him...eventually."

I wasn't going to think about the downside, though.

It would all work out.

I mean God fucking loves me!

Right?

* * *

Only two days later Jade approached me before class. She didn't nod or shake her head. She simply instructed me to meet her at the front of the UC right after class. I would've asked her to elaborate, but you-know-who showed up before I got a chance. Now I had to wait almost an hour to find out whether or not the perfect specimen sitting next to my left was meant to be with me.

Great...

It's a good thing this wasn't really a class in which taking notes was imperative, because that day I had other things to think about besides communicating with one's sexual partner. I needed to actually have a partner before I could worry about that. Knowing when it was appropriate to teach children about sex and their genitals also did little to appease me, though it did get me thinking about the children Chad and I would adopt. _If_ we got together, that is. Christ, we _had_ to get together!

I watched mesmerized as the minute hand on the clock slowly edged its way to the ten.

"...and I will see you all on Monday. Have a great weekend."

The sweetest words I've ever heard! I gathered my things quickly to beat the rush of people. A hand shot out as I reached the aisle and took hold of my shoulder. "Brent? Can I talk to you?"

_Must resist! Must resist!_ My mind screamed as my heart overlapped with _Stay!Stay!Stay!_ "I'm really sorry, but I have to meet someone right now."

"Again?"

"Yes. Can this wait until Monday?"

He released my shoulder reluctantly. "Sure. It can wait." He pushed past me into the oncoming crowd.

For a single moment, getting to the UC didn't matter. For a single moment, I wondered if I had just made on of the biggest mistakes of my life. After a single moment, I shook my head nad muttered to myself, "Nah."

I've never been much of an athlete, but I'm almost positive my dash to the UC had to have broken some kind of record. Jade was leaning patiently against one of the windows and smiled when she saw me coming. "For a second I thought you'd chickened out."

"Got a bit held-up," I explained as I tried to catch my breath. After my heart rate returned to its normal speed I felt ready to hear the consensus, be it good or bad. "So?"

"So..." she trailed off. Shit. She wasn't looking me in the eye. "There's kind of a problem. Well, it actually isn't a "problem" it's more like...a change of plans. The guy–"

"Brent! What the fuck was that? You just left without me," Tony grumbled as he walked toward us. "So what's the verdict?"

"Don't know yet," she answered. "See, the guy I talked to said he'd only help if he knew who was asking. I told him I wasn't at liberty to say, but that I'd let you know that. " She jerked her head in the direction of the cafeteria. "He's waiting in there. It's up to you."

I shifted my weight back and forth from foot to foot. "What do you think?" I asked her.

"I'd go for it, but that's just me."

What's worse? Having someone who doesn't like you back finding out you like them only to ruin what could be a great friendship, or living the rest of your life not knowing what could have been? I guess Lord Tennyson was right in saying, "'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all."

"Where is he?"

Tony grinned proudly as he nudged my shoulder. "'Atta boy!"

Jade lead us into the UC cafeteria. "Now," she began, "he can be a bit hyper, but all in all–"

"BRENT!" I soon found myself in a suffocating embrace by non-other than Ian.

Jade seemed thoroughly amused. "I see you two know each other already."

Ian was babbling on. "I knew it had to be you. I mean, I saw the way you had been looking at him that night. I was thinking to myself, 'Wow! Wouldn't they make the cutest couple?'"

My eye darted back and forth between Ian and Jade. "This is your friend of a friend of a friend?" Ooo. Did that make your brain hurt? Yeah, mine too.

"Oh yeah," Ian interjected, "my friend, Alex, is a Music major and his friend, Steven, is a Communications major and his friend is Jade who is a Drama major and hold on because I need to breath now." He paused taking a deep breath. "Ok, so where was I?"

"Playing six degrees of Chad Meyers," Tony replied.

I gripped Ian's shoulders and looked him in the eye. "Ian, this is probably the most important question I will ever ask you: Is Chad gay or am I barking up the wrong tree?"

"To be honest, I don't know..."

Fuck! Does anyone know _anything _about this guy?

"He's a man of mystery. He keeps to himself a lot and I've never seen him go on a date with anyone. Well, except for you," Ian added with a mischievous gleam in his eye. "I guess that doesn't really count, though."

"Why'd you insist on meeting me if you couldn't help me anyway?"

He shrugged. "Curiosity? Besides," he continued, "just because I know as much as you do about his sexuality doesn't mean I can't help you find out more. We do live in the same apartment, you know."

Tony and Jade had been standing to the side watching the exchange. His arm slid around her shoulder. "It's a great thing you did."

"Thank you," she replied. After a beat she added, "Take it off or I'll break it off."

He obliged, but didn't quit. "Come on, I'll buy you a snowball. We should probably leave them alone anyway."

"Fine," she agreed with a sigh.

Hm. Hell must have been freezing over. Maybe that meant the Saints would win the Superbowl...

Nah.

* * *

An hour and two boats of cheese fries later, Ian and I had gotten nowhere. Apparently Chad didn't talk much about any of his friends from high school or really anything that happened to him before college. All Ian knew for sure was that Chad's family lived in Alexandria (located Northeast of new Orleans) and, with the exception of Christmas break, Chad hadn't once gone home to visit his family. Although, that could've been attributed to distance.

"I swear," Ian spoke while lifting a cheese drenched fry from the boat, "his room is incredibly bare. He has a bed and a small desk. No pictures, no posters, no gay porn magazines. Nothing. Nada." He bit into the fry as I sat back and evaluated my current situation.

Yes, I was no closer than I had been before to knowing what I needed to know, but I had to have made progress somehow.

"What do you suggest I do then?" If anyone could give me advice, it was Ian.

"Well, for starters don't turn down anymore offers to study with him."

"What good will that do?"

He shook his head in amazement. "Brent, don't you understand? Chad has spent more time with you than he has with anyone else. Well, except for me, Josh, and David, but that's only because we live together. After you left he couldn't stop talking about you. It was all 'Oh and Brent did this' and 'Brent said the funniest thing.' Even if he doesn't like you romantically, he really values your friendship. You may the one person who can help him become more comfortable around other people."

"And if he gets more comfortable with people..."I trailed off, now fully comprehending what Ian was getting at.

He finished my thought. "Maybe then he'll start letting people know more about him, especially you." He began picking at the cheese which was stuck to the bottom of the boat. "See, Chad is like a flower. He's completely closed up right now. If you try to pry him open, he'll only fall apart. However, with a little nurturing, he'll open up on his own."

I stared at him for a good few seconds before replying, "Wow, that was fucking corny." I had to admit to myself it was also somewhat poetic.

"Just keep it in mind," he insisted. He looked as though planned to continue, but stopped to look at something behind me. I turned to see Chad entering the cafeteria, though he hadn't noticed Ian and me yet. "Perhaps I should leave you two alone," Ian decided getting up from the table. "Go get him!"

My level of confidence had risen and my talk with Ian had been helpful, even if it hadn't been overly productive. I strode to where Chad was standing in line at Starbucks and braced myself. "Chad?"

He looked at me, but didn't smile. He usually smiled.

"So, um, that project I was telling you about? Well, I don't have to do it after all. So if you wanted to study–"

"I don't think so," he interrupted. "I'm going to be pretty busy with some other stuff."

"Oh." I tried, but I couldn't keep the disappointment out of my voice. "Well what were you trying to tell me before?"

He shook his head. "I forgot." He was lying. "Tall café mocha," he ordered when he reached the front. I wasn't about to give up too easily.

"Hey, if you want to get together over spring break or something–"

He shook his head before I could finish. "I'm going to be really busy." Grabbing his order, he gave me a curt nod and left me standing there.

One word came to mind.

Fuck.

* * *

A/N: I'm sure this goes with out saying, but writer's block sucks.

Ok, since I couldn't actually come up with a good idea for Blink Week, this chapter is dedicated to B for her (very belated) Birthday!

The next chapter will be the last, making this my first ever finished story!

Shout-outs:

**Braids21**: Yeah, the class is really awesome. I'd take it again if I could. I'm glad you like it!

**Jacky Higgins**: Yay! I was going for cute and funny! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well!

**singin'-newsies-goil**: Hope it didn't hurt too much when you fell out of your chair, but I'm glad it made you laugh! I don't think I updated very quickly, but I did try my hardest! Please don't spear me:)

**antiIrony**: Hope this chapter was as good as the other ones! I hope you continue to read the next chapter as well! Cause if you don't, you'll never know what happens!

**DreamlessMermaid**: I'm glad you're enjoying this story! Hope this update was soon enough!

**studentnumber24601**: Yes, Blink is a very stupid boy. Poor Blink. Also, yes I am a dialogue whore and I admit it. Thank you for the concrit, though. I appreciate any and all advice on how to improve as a writer! Oh, and... :pushes Stupid!Blink forward:

Stupid!Blink: Happy very belated Birthday! Hopefully this chapter will compensate for her inability to come up with a good fic for Blink Week!

Again, thanks for the review!

**Pancackes**: Yeah, the nicknames get old after a while (not to mention, I really hate nicknames) so every so often it's nice to skip them. I get your hints! I'm updating...slowly...

**coconuts migrate**: Knowing that Monty Python references make you happy makes me happy! Thank you very much for reviewing! Oh, and uber-cool name!

**Nanii**: Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad you're liking it. As for the things mentioned in the beginning, they are indeed real. Interesting, no?

**elleestJenn**: Phew! I'm glad you decided to keep reading! You seem glad you did as well! Hope you enjoyed this chapter as well!

**Erin Go Bragh**: Eh, you probably reviewed it and your review got eaten by the evil review thingy. It's happened to me before. I got your review this time, though and it made me smile! Glad you like this fic!

**skittery's bad mood**: Woo! Glad you like! Thanks for reviewing!

**Rjenyawd**: Do you know how hard it is to type your pen name out? Gah! You know, I had the same mental image of David as I was writing the chapter, except he also had curlers in his hair. Cause you know those tendrils don't curl themselves! When you finally take this class, tell me what time and I'll try to sit in on a few. Ya know, for old times sake.

**MusiCath**: Before I thank you for your review, may I inquire as to the whereabouts of one Last 5 Years crossover fic? It was there one day then gone! Please tell me it hasn't been discontinued or anything. Because then I'll cry. Anywho, enough of that. Obscure references are fun, especially when people start staring at you! And David _is_ a very good Jewish wife! Now get back to writing! cracks whip


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own _Newsies_. Well, according to the claim-a-musical livejournal community I do…but for all legal purposes I don't. Dwayne owns himself.

* * *

"So then one night my friend, Alex, called me and said, 'Dude, why don't we drive to Florida for a while?' and I was like, 'I don't know if my parents would go for that.' So then he said, 'Dude, you're eighteen now! You don't need to listen to your parents anymore!' So we ended up staying at friend's beach house for a few days." 

I nodded absently. Since our last confrontation over a week ago, Chad had begun sitting elsewhere in class, and his seat had been quickly occupied by Wayne (or was it "Dwayne?") who had wasted no time in telling me he was both gay and very interested.

After he finished telling me what he had done during Spring Break, he turned expectantly to me. "So…what did you do over Spring Break?"

Me? Well, I'd pouted, sulked, pouted, sulked, and then, for good measure, pouted some more. "Not much," I replied with a shrug.

"Oh," he said waiting for me to continue. When I didn't, he took it upon himself to keep the conversation going. "Well, over the weekend, I went to this place called Aqua. My friend swore it was a gay bar, but I don't think so. Sure I saw some gay guys, but not a lot. It was still a really nice place, though." He paused and cleared this throat. "Uh…if you're ever free or something…I mean if you wanted to see it…it's a really nice place."

I bit my lip. Not that he wasn't a nice, attractive guy. In fact, had I never met Chad, I probably would have been elated that he was talking to me. But I _had_ met Chad. For now, I didn't want anyone else. But I didn't want to lead him on.

I looked to my right, hoping Tony would intervene. I had forgotten, though, that he had taken to sitting by Jade, who had decided he wasn't too annoying to date after all. How is that even remotely fair?

I sighed as I cut my suitor off. "Look, Wayne--"

"Dwayne," he cut in.

"Right, Dwayne," I continued making a mental note, "You're a really great guy. I just don't think now is the right time."

He nodded thoughtfully for a moment. "So…it's that other guy."

"What other guy?"

"The one who sat here before. See I wanted to sit here before, but I saw him and you and figured you were together. Then I saw he wasn't sitting here so I assumed you had broken up." He smiled sadly. "Bad assumption?"

I shook my head. "No! I mean, yes, but we were never together to begin with."

He raised his eyebrows. "Yet he didn't mind you groping him?"

"Those were accidents!"

The grin on his face told me he didn't believe me. I doubt I'd believe me either. "So if you were never together, why can't you go out with someone else?" My face reddened as his smile grew. "You still like him!" he announced in a sing-song voice.

"Maybe…a little…"

"You should so ask him out. I think you two would make a cute couple. Not as a cute a couple as you and _I_ would make, but a cute couple nonetheless."

"You think?" I pondered this before shaking my head. "No way. I don't think he'll ever want to speak to me again."

"Oh please! You're cute enough that you can get away with doing something stupid. So just do it already!"

"…No…"

"Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!" he chanted, accentuating each "do" with a harsh poke. I knew people were beginning to stare, so I quickly slapped my hand over his mouth.

"If I think about it, will you stop that?" I hissed. He nodded obligingly and I removed my hand.

And I thought about it.

For a microsecond.

* * *

"Psst! Brent!" 

I paused among the exiting students. Had I heard that?

"Bre-ent!"

Yep. I scanned the area and my eyes stopped when I saw someone by the soda machines jumping up and down while flailing his arms. "It couldn't be," I muttered to myself as I made my way over. But there was no denying it. He may have been wearing a baseball cap and a pair of oversized sunglasses, but even from far away I recognized Ian.

"What is with the getup?" I asked, both horrified and amused.

"I'm inagito."

"Don't you mean 'incognito?'"

"Whatever. I just don't want to be seen."

"Right. I'm sure no one saw you jumping up and down screaming out to me."

Ah, but they don't know who I am!"

"Hey, Ian!" a girl called out as she passed us.

"Hey, Trish!" Catching the look I gave him, he replied defensively, "I never said I was the 'Master of Disguise.'"

Before he could do a Dana Carvey impression (and I was ninety-nine percent sure he would) I cut in. "So for what purpose were you conspicuously obtaining my attention?"

"…What?"

I snickered. "Why are you here?"

He broke into a grin. "I have good news for you!" After glancing suspiciously around us, he continued. "Chad stayed here for Spring Break. I don't know about the entire week, but while I was here all he did was talk about you."

"Did the word 'bastard' appear in any of these talks?"

"…Maybe…But he still likes you! He's just a bit miffed about whatever the hell you did. In fact, I'd say he's pretty pissed."

I groaned. "Do you have a point?"

"My point," he continued with an exasperated sigh, "is that now s the perfect time for you to talk to him. You don't have to worry about him getting offended or anything because he already dislikes you. Things can only get better."

"…Damn you for having a point…"

He leaned in. "I know he'll be alone tonight. I'm sure you could keep him company in that big…er…medium-sized apartment. It would be the perfect opportunity."

I slumped against the wall. "I don't know."

"Ok let me rephrase that: If you refuse, I will follow you around and pester you until you agree to do this. I don't have another class for three more hours and would love to find a way to kill the time."

I glared at him. "You wouldn't by any chance happen to know someone named 'Dwayne Sepcich,' would you?"

"Yeah! He's a friend of mine! Why, do you know him?"

* * *

6:54 

Ian had instructed me to knock on the apartment door at precisely 7:00pm. Part of me feared he had memorized Chad's home routine to the point where he knew exactly when Chad would be showering, thus forcing him to open to door in nothing but a sopping wet towel. The other part of me hoped it.

I tried my best to not look suspicious, lest one of their neighbors decide to report me for loitering. Although if I _were_ detained by the Campus Police, I'd have an excuse for putting this entire thing off—hopefully indefinitely.

I had little time to actually ponder this as the alarm on my watch went off. "Now or never," I muttered, "though I'd prefer the latter." Taking a few breaths to steady myself, I knocked, dreading (and salivating at the thought of) Chad answering in nothing but a towel.

Ian answered the door.

I furrowed my brow. "I thought you said—"

"Brent! What an unexpected surprise!" he interjected in a very loud and very unconvincing tone. "Well, as long as you are here, perhaps you should come in."

I rolled my eye as I entered. "Don't take up acting."

"Look, guys," he continued in the same monotonous voice, "it's Brent. I didn't expect to see him here tonight…or ever…"

Chad was positioned on the couch in front of the television. He gave me a quick glance and then ignored me. David, it seemed, had already left. Josh just looked confused.

"Well, Brent, why don't you stay for a while? I'm sure Chad would love the company. Bye!"

"Ian, what're yo…" I heard Josh ask as Ian dragged him out the door.

I continued to hover by the door and Chad remained on the couch. An awkward silence fell over us. After a minute I decided to break the ice. "Hey." Well, I never said it was a _good_ ice breaker.

"Hello," he replied stiffly.

I glanced at the television. "So…you're watching _Law & Order_?"

"Yes, and if that's all you wanted to know, the door is directly behind you."

Okay. So he isn't in the best mood. "I just…well…I haven't seen you in a while, so I thought we could hang out or something."

He snorted. "You say that as though we're friends or something."

Ouch. I wasn't expecting him to be _that_ frigid. "I just thought…" I began, hurt creeping into my voice.

"Thought what?" he demanded. "Thought that because we spent one week sharing a book and a couple of months sitting next to each other that we're suddenly best friends?"

"I figured we were close enough of friends to just hang out."

He was silent for a moment. "Maybe we were," he said softly, "but then…you changed…"

"I can explain, though."

He held up a hand to silence me. "Please don't," he replied. "I think I know what you're going to say and I just don't want to hear it. I mean, I did enjoy whatever form of friendship we may have had. So I'd rather just think of it as we drifted apart, not that you…Well…you know."

Until that moment I hadn't known the term "heart broken" could be so literal. Yet standing there, I could feel my heart twisting and tearing inside of my chest. He _did_ know. Not only that, but he didn't feel the same way. In fact, he was so obviously disgusted by it that he was willing to throw away what could be a wonderful friendship over it.

I felt a lump forming in my throat. "If that's what you want…"

He nodded. "It's what I want. I think you should leave," he said before turning his attention back to the television.

As I turned toward the door, I realized there was another emotion creeping inside of me. It was anger. Anger for myself. Anger for Ian and Josh. Hell, anger for Dwayne! The seed which had planted inside me began to blossom quickly. Before I realized it, I had snatched the remote control away and turned off the television, despite Chad's protests. "What about what I want?" I asked. "When do I get what I fucking want?" He didn't answer, he just glared at me as I began pacing in front of him. "I'm just so fucking sick of people like you trying to change people like me, as though we have a choice of being the way we are."

"Oh, but people like me do?" he finally spoke up.

"You bet your ass you do!"

"You know," he said, his voice now completely full of rage, "I don't even understand why you're so upset. I figured you wouldn't want to be friends with a _fag_ anyway."

"Yeah, well I think…" Wait. Pause. Rewind. Replay.

Did he just say…

"What did you say?"

"That's right," he continued smugly, "I'm gay. A homo. Queer, fruitcake, cocksucker. Choose your term."

I don't think I'd been that confused since Brian took me to see that Kevin Costner movie. Aha, see that? I made a _Family_ _Guy_ reference, Ahahaha…or not…

"And you know what?" he asked as he continued his rant. "I knew you'd react this way!"

"Could you shut up for a minute and let me think?" I snapped.

"What is there to think about? Ian, Josh, and me are gay. You're a homophobe. End of story."

I was elated. Hell, I was beyond elated. Sure my potential boyfriend thought I was homophobic, but the fact that in the past five minutes he had gone from being a long shot to being my potential boyfriend was reason enough to rejoice.

He opened the door. "I think it would be best if you left."

"Wait, Chad. I know what you think you know, but what you think you know isn't what you think…" Did that confuse you? Yeah, me too.

"Look," I began, pulling sheets of loose leaf from my back pocket, "I think you should read this before you say anything else." He looked at the folded papers I held out, but made no move to take them from me. "You said you wanted to read my work," I reminded him.

He took the pages obligingly and settled onto the couch. I stood behind him, reciting to myself what I knew he was reading:

"_Hey, Brent! Check this out!" my best friend/roommate, Tony exclaimed as he elbowed me in the side. The two of us were sitting in a _huge_ auditorium along with almost two hundred other students. It was the classroom for Dr. Bruce's Human Sexual behavior course, a favorite among most students at the University of New Orleans. Wonder why…_

He looked up after a few minutes. "Is this a work of fiction?"

"No," I replied, "I thought I'd take a crack at non-fiction for a change. There are two more chapters after that. I was hoping to finish it off tonight…"

He looked down at the sheets of paper again. "Why didn't you tell me?"

I shrugged. "I'm a coward," I admitted. "I was afraid of how you'd react. I wasn't positive you were gay and thought if you were straight you'd be offended."

"Why would you think that?"

"Well, you seemed embarrassed by Ian and Josh and their PDA."

He was quiet for a moment. "I guess it's only fair I confess that I felt the same way about you. I was a little afraid that Ian and Josh would scare you off. When I assumed it had, though, I just felt…pissed off."

"I know," I told him with a nod.

He sat back, grinning slightly. "So we both are idiots, aren't we?"

I positioned myself next to him on the arm of the couch. His hand slowly brushed over mind and I felt that all too familiar heat rising to my face.

"So is that a…uh…"he paused to refer back to the paper, "a 'Major Swoon?'"

I knew my face had to be beet red by this point. "Stop!" I hissed with a playful smack.

"Does this story have an ending?"

"Well, I've gotten this far. I figured we'd get married and adopt two children. First, a Korean girl named Audrey and an African boy named Alexander."

"…Alexander?"

"Well, after Alexander Dumas. Unless, of course, you'd like him to be named after Edgar Allen Poe."

He considered this. "Alexander it is. So two gay men with a Korean daughter and an African son. Think we should get a lesbian live-in housekeeper too?"

"Whatever will keep the neighbors guessing."

He laughed and pulled me closer to him on the couch. Suddenly, everything seemed right.

What? That ending is too corny for you? Well that's life, so suck it up. Since PSYC 1520, I have recommended it to everyone I've run into. Sure it earns me a few stares, but I know they'll thank me later. Sure, they may not find what I found, but the class itself is filled with so much useful information. I mean, who knows when you'll need to know why Graham Crackers were really invented? Okay, pretty much never….but still…uh…there're some important things to learn in it…and…

Ah fuck it! Love is great!

* * *

Wow. It's all over. My first completed fic. :tear: I actually had this chapter completely written out about a month ago. However, my house (computer included) was under water for quite a while thanks to Ms. Katrina, so I very much doubt it's still there. I think this is fairly close to what I originally had, though. Also, don't expect anymore UNO based stories from me. You can, however, expect a story or two based at Columbia College in Chicago :gloat gloat gloat: Ahem…sorry. I know you're probably all asking yourselves "Is that really the best ending she could come up with?" The answer to that is yes. Yes it is. Mucho thankies to everyone who has reviewed this story, especially those of you who have been with me from the beginning! It really makes me feel special! I would so do Shout-Outs, but I have limited Internet access right now and I'd like to get this up as soon as possible. Sorry! But _you_ all know who you are, and _I_ know who you are! 


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